Insights from Paulo

Paulo from Rio de Janeiro is a member of an edging and cum denial online group that I participate in. Simply put, no one knows more about the subject than Paulo. He does not post often, but when he does speak always has something germane and instructive to say. I am always impressed with his insights.

The quotes here were culled from his posts to the edging/denial group, our email exchanges, and a blog he used to have. Some items here are sentence fragments, extracted from whatever context he happened to be writing about. Some items are random sentences that concisely distill into a few words some basic truth. English is a second language for him, so there are occasional lapses in grammar, but his meaning is unmistakable.

There is no particular flow here, just a potpourri of random wisdom.

_________________________________________

Delaying ejaculation is a philosophy, a lifestyle.

_________________________________________

Masturbating without the intention to cum.

_________________________________________

Preparing my body to ejaculate. I will go on edging and preparing my body to have an orgasm that will never happen.

_________________________________________

When the urge NOT TO CUM is stronger than the urge to cum.

_________________________________________

Cock would certainly cum if I let it happen. Cheerfully, he can't do it by himself. He needs a helping hand (literally). Personally, I always prefer not to cum. This difference between us is what makes Cock a separate being of me. He wants to cum, I don't. Perhaps in his deepest willing he also doesn't....

_________________________________________

Cock will have to wait unrelieved meanwhile I relieve my urge not to cum.

_________________________________________

Having in mind that you are not going to cum (by making a previous decision) is important to banish the doubt from mind and keep you free to edge. Such decision can be made on a day-by-day basis.

_________________________________________

The Romans already knew that some things should be left to the next day. Therefore they created the word procrastinate. There is no better term to define how I deal with ejaculation. I procrastinate.

_________________________________________

The difference between a frustrating ending and a rewarding continuation.

_________________________________________

Masturbating, enjoying and NOT cumming unleashes a lot of energy within me. If I don't do so I feel frustrated and unfulfilled. The urge to edge and avoid ejaculation is real as well as the urge to cum. The question is: what fulfills me more? Not cumming or cumming?

_________________________________________

Deciding not to cum during a specific amount of time feels liberating. When I do so; I no longer am tormented by the doubt that tortures most edgers: “To cum or no to cum?” I know I’m not going to cum. So I am free to enjoy the process of edging in its entire plenitude. It is not the same feeling as when I go one day without shooting, and then the next; step by step.

_________________________________________

When I think that cum denial is wrong, making me act like a sexual maniac and this is not a socially accepted behavior, I get even more excited.

_________________________________________

I'm not forbidden to cum, I just don't want to.
My uncummed cock feels awesome and I'm masturbating like crazy!
After enjoying myself for a long, long while; I choose to stop, holding the precious load within.
Proud, fulfilled and happy I carry the seed of a next soon session with me.
No matter how many times I masturbate, am always ready for more.
And more, and more, too much is not enough, I need more...
Ejaculating wouldn't satisfy my edging instinct.
Because when I'm about to cum; I always prefer to stop.

_________________________________________

Edging can be a fantastic source of satisfaction. Experiencing the eminence of an orgasm, just the eminence, without triggering the process of ejaculation is a good beginning. But there is plenty more to be discovered. Edging time after time during a lot of time; overflows our blood system with sexual hormones. The consequence is euphoria. Masturbating becomes a purpose of life. Many people believe that this is all they can get from masturbation; so they finally cum. Only the experts know that this is only the beginning. That state of euphoria can be swallowed and transformed into a deeper state of excitement. The frequency of “almost orgasms” can be increased until there is no gap between them. The eminence of orgasm becomes almost permanent.

The continuation of the exercise extinguishes the resistances of our body. Our space-time notions dim and all we sense is a tremendous amount of energy flowing inside us. Some people call it bliss; I call it a kind of contemplation. Anyway, nourishing that never ending ecstasy becomes THE purpose of life.

This kind of extreme joy doesn’t require ejaculation. It can be extended during long periods of time and finished without wasting a single drop of sperm. The unrelieved sexual desire will certainly involve another masturbation. It is up to you to decide if you want to cum or restart playing again.

_________________________________________

Tips for beginners, read this before every masturbation session:

1)Remember the way you decided to stop: unejaculated. This includes a few seconds of frustration followed by a long-lasting compensation.

2)No matter how long you masturbate, it will never be long enough to make you feel satisfied. So schedule a next soon session and transfer the hope of relief to it. Always the next.

3)Set an alarm to less than the time you know you can hold ejaculation. Stop masturbating by the second it rings. Increase the number of sessions if necessary.

4)Start slowly. At the beginning the cock is more sensitive and has to get used to stimulation. Self control has also to be recalibrated.

5)Focus on your state of excitement, not on the wish to cum. Stopping before getting too close is the rule. Restarting over and over and over and over and over and over will make you goon anyway.

6)Piss frequently. The urge to piss is commonly misinterpret by the urge to cum.

7)Stop if you feel tired or losing control.

8)Perform non sexual activities between sessions.

_________________________________________

Going a few days without edging has two major side effects:
1) Refreshing the desire
2) Increasing the [sensitivity]

Masturbating again after the pause feels terrific; however, one has to be cautious with the risk of having an undesired ejaculation. So here go my suggestions.
1) Decide the way you want to stop before starting. If you want to remain uncummed say it loud "I will finish this session uncummed".
2) Start slowly. You are anxious to start and your penis is extra sensitive. So I strongly recommend you not to edge for a while. Just make your penis get hard and keep it hard for a long while. Let it (him) get used to the touch of your hand again. There is no hurry. In fact, prolonging is the deal. You will have all the time in the world to edge IF you don't cum now. Not edging now means edging more in the future; much more.
3) Stay focused. Although you want to enjoy the pleasure of edging, you should first learn to enjoy the pleasure of NOT CUMMING. The pleasure of edging will follow. But the main focus must be not to cum.
4) Interrupt the hand job from time to time. Keep in mind you are not stopping, just splitting the session into several parts.
5) Piss frequently. The urge to piss is commonly felt as the urge to cum.

6) Don't exceed you resistances. Stop if you feel tired or uncomfortable. Learn to enjoy the pleasure leaving your hungry uncummed cock alone. Learn to enjoy it! Regain your resistances and start playing again.